Suburban Rants

Stuff Elephant in a Christmas Stocking!

2011-11-12T11:35:00.001-05:00

Elephant: Short Stories and Flash Fiction is available for purchase from several websites - including Amazon and B&N.com - among others.

Some online stores are attempting to sell used copies for $45. I don't know what that's all about. Amazon sells Elephant for $14.98 plus shipping and handling. Anyway, a few friends who don't live nearby have asked how they can purchase a personalized copy, and here it is! For the holiday season, you can purchase a personalized copy and have it shipped for $14.98.

I'm happy to inscribe a copy with your name or the gift recipient's name and a note. When ordering, please specify whether you would like the copy autographed and/or personalized. Write instructions in the comments field if you'd like a specific saying inscribed. We can only ship in US for now.

Remember, Elephant contains dark realist stories which contain themes of sex, drugs, violence, lack of sex, aging, nuns, three-ways, alcohol abuse, and murder. They were written, edited, and re-written over a four year period.

Elephant makes a great stocking stuffer or Pollyanna gift!!

Seeking Insomiknitac

2011-11-12T11:10:00.000-05:00

Over the summer, friends in West Chester started seeing little knitted "yarnbombs" throughout our town. I decided to find out what the heck was going on. This short documentary is about the Summer of Insomiknitac.

Seeking Insomiknitac - Yarn Bombing Documentary from Jim Breslin on Vimeo.

ELEPHANT - AUTOGRAPHED EDITION

2011-06-24T14:36:00.008-04:00

On Sunday, June 26th, we're celebrating the launch of Elephant: Short Stories & Flash Fiction at the used bookstore BookPlace in Oxford, PA. Refreshments will be served at Sunday's event, which runs from 4-7pm. We do hope to see you there.

Elephant contains dark realist stories that were written, edited, and re-written over the past four years. A few stories were published in journals, all were critiqued at writers retreats or critique groups.

For those friends who cannot attend, but would like a paperback copy, you can order one direct using a credit card or Paypal. When ordering, please specify whether you would like the copy autographed and/or personalized. We can only ship in US for now. Thanks! - Jim Breslin

Elephant: Short Stories and Flash Fiction

2011-06-10T16:01:00.004-04:00

Elephant: Short Stories & Flash Fiction is available in Paperback and for Kindle through Amazon.com. Also available for Nook though barnesandnoble.com.

Paperbacks available at Chester County Book and Music Company.

A Celebration and Book Launch is being held at Bookplace in Oxford, PA on June 26th from 4 -7 Pm.

You are invited!

Interview with Twitter's @mammabennie

2011-06-02T22:21:00.000-04:00

Terry - aka @mamabennie

One of the people I follow on Twitter is @mamabennie. Her real name is Terry and she is a stay at home mother of two young girls living in Archbald, PA. Terry is not your typical suburban mom, as you can see from the photo of her in pink hair. She blogs at randommommabrain where her background is a colorful splash of paint droplets mixed with skulls and crossbones. In her blog and her twitter feed, Terry is very forthright about the challenges of being a stay at home mom. She is dedicated to using cloth diapers and living frugally. One of her fascinating blog posts calculated the long term savings of using cloth diapers. On Mother’s Day she sent a series of tweets lamenting that her husband bought her a Mother’s day card while she sat in the car with the kids. In her bio, she writes she is “the little bit rock n’ roll half of the relationship.” She drives a truck, listens to rock and plays the saxophone. I wanted to learn more about Terry, and she agreed to an interview.

Interviewer: Can you tell me about why you started blogging and using Twitter and how it’s become a part of your life?

Terry: Well, I started blogging because I needed an outlet for my busy brain. There are always thoughts, ideas, stories, thinks I like and so many things always running through it. Sometimes I actually loose my thoughts before I get to write them down. It happens to the best of us, I just let it flow when I get the time. As for Twitter, I started using it as a connection to the outside world. Where I live, the babywearing/breastfeeding/cloth diaper-using parents are very rare. They don't even sell cloth diapers where I live. I needed to talk to people that understood me. When I started Twitter, we didn't use cloth at the time. Elsa (The first born) was just barely turning one, and we had been having a persistent horrible rash with blisters. The doctor was in denial that it was a reaction to disposables of course. I was at my wits end, and Twitter was my gateway to learning my options. I found so so many wonderful cloth diaper moms and companies that helped me out. The #clothdiapers chats on Twitter (Mondays at 9pm eastern), were the most helpful thing ever. I have made a lot of new friends and connections through the blogging/Twitter community.

Interviewer: So did the cloth diapers help Elsa’s rash?

Terry: O yes, it went away shortly after we switched. It was the best decision we ever made. We also have saved a ton of money considering at one time we had two kids in cloth. Dixie actually has the same allergy. We found that out when we went on a vacation without washer/dryer access. It was rough. I don't care what we have to do, we will never be using disposables again.

Interviewer: So you are the rock 'n roll side of the family. Would you name your favorite bands? Do your girls rock out with you now?

Terry: O boy, I have a ton of favorites. Rammstein, Green Day, Korn, Blink-182, Nirvana, Rob Zombie...the list really does go on. My girls do rock out with me, within reason of course. I try to keep the extreme potty language to a minimum.

Interviewer: Tell me about Archbald, PA. It sounds as though it's a pretty small town?

Terry: It is actually a fairly decent sized borough, but it is still considered suburban. We are about 10 miles from the city of Scranton, so not too far from the hub of everything around here. We moved to the outskirts for the lower crime rate and nicer people. It is better to raise children here. My husband and I were born and raised in Scranton, and it has unfortunately gone downhill a lot. Thankfully we lucked out and found a place to rent in such a nice area. We moved here 3 days before our first daughter's due date. The day we moved in all of the neighbors came over and introduced themselves. We have actually become friends with quite a few of them. I guess it just seems like a small place because you don't find such nice communities anymore.

Interviewer: I see you have a review disclosure on your blog. How did you start reviewing products and what do you review?

Terry: Well, I started reviewing by just writing opinions about products that I already used. I think it is beneficial to let others know your experiences with products, whether they are good or bad. I do have some reviews that are not positive so I do not lie in my reviews. My first non-personal review, was before Halloween. A costume company asked me to review a costume for them. So, I picked a Winnie the Pooh costume for Elsa and the rest is history. Every once in a while I have a company contact me through the e-mail address on my blog and ask me if I would like to review their products. I have also gotten a few offers through Twitter. On about 2 occasions I had contacted companies with things that I wanted to try out, but usually I just go with the flow. I don't really have any specifics on what I review. It just has to be something interesting. I have reviewed cloth diapers, clothing items, headbands, computer apps, laundry detergent, lotion, food products and some other children's items. Anything that could appeal to family lifestyles are pretty much up my alley.

Interviewer: I’d like to ask about the Mother’s Day card rant. When I read the one tweet I thought it was funny, but then I read through the timeline and realized you were upset and I was really touched by the response of your Twitter friends. In your twitter profile, you posted you are “wife to an amazing man/mechanic/daddy,” and I think he just started a new job. Is your hubby on Twitter? And did he pick out a good card that day?

Terry: Well, yea he did just start his new job. He is back to being a mechanic now. I know he didn't mean to blow off Mother's Day, things have just been crazy around here. I was just feeling extremely underapreciated that day. He doesn't have "the Twitter"...he is stunted in the social media department. He knew I was hurt by the way I was acting, but he never saw what I said. If it weren't for my amazing Tweeps I would have been crying. As for the card he picked, it was a humorous card and he didn't even write a personal note in it. That was the first time EVER that had occurred. Hopefully our 5th Anniversary in July will be better.

Follow Terry on Twitter at @mamabennie and check out her blog at http://randommamabrain.wordpress.com/. On Facebook, search Random Mama Brain and like it.

Topsey Falls Silent - My experience with fiverr.com

2011-05-15T09:48:00.004-04:00

What would you do for $5?

What would you pay someone $5 for?

I stumbled onto a website called fiverr.com which has kind of freaked me out. The concept is this: a person posts something they are willing to do for $5 (really$4 since fiverr takes a cut.) If someone is interested in the service, they pay through fiverr and the two people connect. People offer to draw pictures, provide voiceovers, create origami roses, tweet messages to their followers.

One of the services being offered was by a young woman with a screen name of Topsey23. Topsey’s service being offered on the site is titled:

I will call you and talk to you for ten minutes for $5.

Now, this service struck me for being both funny and sad. The thought that people out in this world are so lonely they will pay for a ten minute conversation is both surreal and heartbreaking. Topsey23 had just joined the site a few days earlier. Her avatar on the site is an inverted photo of herself. In the photo she appears young, with dyed orange hair, fair skin and a black t-shirt. She’s not looking into the camera and the angle gives one the impression that she might be lying in a tanning bed.

Underneath the title she elaborates on exactly what the offer is:

ill call you and talk to you about anything you want for five dollars or ill make a prank to your friends.. you let me know I’ll do ittt (:

Intrigued by this website, and Topsey’s service, I wanted to find out what her experience has been so far. I wanted to learn if she had received many calls and why had people called her. Before signing up, I messaged Topsey.

Hello -

I write a blog and would like to do this 10-minute conversation but want to take notes and use this for my blog post. Are you ok with that? I’ll link to you. Also - have you had many responses?

Topsey replied:

Yes, I’m okay with that. And no, I haven’t had many responses yet.

So I signed up and paid five dollars. The money would be held by fiverr until the transaction was completed. A short time later, through the message service, we agreed Topsey would call me around noon the next day, Friday, and I sent her my cell number. I wrote out the following questions:

Tell me what prompted you to offer to talk to a stranger for ten minutes?

I know you just started this a few days ago. What’s the response been?

What do people want to talk about?

Has anyone asked you to pull a prank?

What do you do when you aren’t talking to strangers thru fiverr?

In your avatar, it looks like you are in a tanning bed. What is the photo?

You have another post that says you will draw a picture for $5. Have you had responses to that?

So I sat by the phone for fifty-five minutes waiting for the call. Okay, I was actually doing some writing and paying some bills. Nothing happened. No call. I used fiverr’s message service and let Topsey know I had to run out but if she would give me a specific time the next day we could try it. She never responded. I guess she got cold feet.

So what is funnier and sadder than someone willing to pay for a conversation with a stranger? Someone who is willing to pay and is stood up!

By Sunday morning, fiverr sent me a message that read:

It seems the seller is late on delivery. You may now cancel your order.

So I did. I do find this whole concept strange and am thinking I may try another service. There are several which received positive reviews. The most popular service is from Kevinfar - “I will create 3 videos about a topic of your choice for $5,” or maybe I’ll go with Woofy31’s service “I will interpret 5 of your dreams for $5.” So what’s $5 worth to you?

The Man Named Start Loving

2011-05-14T17:37:00.003-04:00

Start Loving is one of the most recognized peace activists in Washington DC. He has held several hunger strikes and in 2009 joined the peace vigil which has been held continuously for the past twenty-eight years in Lafayette Park, across the street from the White House. This 30-minute documentary is an interview with Start, who discusses his path to Washington DC and his philosophy of universal love.

The Man Named Start Loving from Jim Breslin on Vimeo.

The Coach

2011-05-14T17:30:00.004-04:00

This was originally written in February 2005 when Jay was 12 years old.

Jay is on two different hockey teams this year. His one set of coaches this year are nice men, a little loud on the bench, and they believe in physical play. Before the season began, I was at the coaching certification class (I'm assistant coach on Jay's second team) and one of these coaches was there. A nice guy, I'm guessing mid-40's, who definitely lives life out loud, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, around Christmas time this coach stops appearing at the games. This coach's son is on the team, and is friendly with Jay, but we don't know why the father isn't there. At one point, Jay mentions this coach is in the hospital. The son continues to make the games, but isn't playing as well as his first few games.

On Saturday night, Jay has a game. As they drop the puck, Brendan tells me the coach is here. I look down to see the coach limping to a spot in the stands. He looks gaunt and pale, has lost alot of weight. It looks as though he has cancer, but I'm not sure.

The man's son plays his best game of the year, scoring two goals and making some great physical plays. The man applauds and occasionally cheers. When he was a coach on the bench, his voice filled the arena, it's not the same now.

In the final seconds of the game, Jay checks a kid on the other team very hard and the kid falls to the ice hurt. As the game ends, I walk over to chat with Jay and also make sure this kid is okay. I pass the man, stop and shake hands, "It's good to see you." I tell him. "Your son played a great game tonight."

I talk with Jay, and suggest he go back on the ice to make sure the kid he levelled is okay. Coaches are attending to the kid who is still laying flat on the ice. I'm concerned this kid is really hurt. Jay skates over and the kid is okay.

A short time later, the coach limps over to the locker room. He explains that a tumor the size of a golf ball was taken out of his brain, and that it is a miracle that he's alive. Most of the kids have left, it's just Jay and this man's son, me and the head coach. Jay zips his bag up and then sits next to this man.

"Hi Coach." Jay says to the man.

The man puts his arm around Jay and says to the other coach, "This kid plays like an animal!" with an approving smile. Jay just grins.

Postscript - Three weeks later, I'm skiing in Utah when my wife calls me. The man has passed away. She takes our boys to the funeral while I'm skiing.

Punk Rock Girl

2011-05-14T17:26:00.006-04:00

Originally written in November, 2004 about taking my then 12 year old son to his first concert -

I kept procrastinating about taking my son to see the Dead Milkmen concert. Then last week, a friend at work, Dave, from the Band F.O.D. emails me that he can put me and one other person on the guest list. Great! Procrastination pays off.

Jay and I show up at the Trocadero, our name is on the list, so the woman gives us each a wristband and we enter the hall. After standing around for about thirty minutes waiting for the first band, I realize nobody else has wristbands.

"Jay," I say, "I think we can get backstage with these!" I've gone to concerts for over 20 years, and this is the first time I've ever had a chance to go backstage.

We show the bouncer our wristbands and sure enough he waves us through the backstage door. Dead Milkmen Lead Singer Rodney Anonymous is standing there, 15 years older than he should be. "Rodney," I said. "I'm so excited you guys reunited. I used to come see you all the time, and I'm excited my son's going to get a chance to see you." Rodney shakes Jay's hand, then says "Don't listen to that man onstage! Whatever you do, don't listen to that man you'll see up on stage!" He laughs and then walks away.

We meet Milkmen guitarist Joe Jack Talcum. I really do say, "Jay, meet Mr. Talcum." Joey look at me like I'm an asshole, but he shakes Jay's hand and says "Nice to meet you." Rodney walks by and says "That kid's going to see my fall flat on my face tonight!"

Dave from F.O.D. comes down the steps backstage with a big grin. He's got a a quart of Yuengling in his hand. I introduce Jay and thank him for the tickets.

Jay and I watch Nixon's Head, then F.O.D. comes out and ROCKS. Jay says they are the quickest band he's ever seen. Electric Love Muffin comes out next and I realize how much I loved their music years ago.

This hot punk rock girl comes over and stands next to Jay. At one point, she hands Jay a folded piece of paper that had been posted at the entrance. The paper reads No Moshing. No Crowd Surfing. No Stagediving. She tells Jay, "Hang this up in your room."

The Dead Milkmen come out and open with, believe it or not, Punk Rock Girl. Rodney makes his usual wise cracks throughout the night. He belts out the classic Stuart (Do you know what the queers are doing to the soil?) and Joey croons Methodist Coloring Book (..don't color outside the lines or God will send you to hell...)

Seeing the Dead Milkmen is like participating in a group sing-along. Everyone is chanting the words and laughing as Rodney paces the stage like a madman.

After a long night, we leave exhausted and don't get home until 12:30. Late night for Jay, especially on a school night. The next day, Jay is the coolest kid in his class, no doubt about it.